lou malnati's / chitown

Its been about 10 years since my last visit, but it didn't take me long to reacquaint myself with the great city of Chicago. Unlike dense east coast cities, Chicago allows you to stretch your legs on its extra wide boulevards and open spaces. This urban sprawl is accentuated by a topography that tries its hardest to convince you that the world is actually flat. Perhaps the accommodating landscape promotes a more polite attitude which is more common in the Midwest and less common in the pressure-cooker atmosphere that boils the aggressions of many urban dwellers on the east coast.

And then there's the pizza. You can't go wrong with a slice at Lombardi's in Soho, NYC or Lorenzo's on South St., Philadelphia, but paper-thin slices leave you craving for more. A slice of deep-dish Chicago style pizza is a meal in itself. When my cousin said he was taking me to Lou Malnati's, I thought he was involved in a secret society. But he assured me that this was the best pizzeria on the northside. The interior of its Lincolnwood location is an homage to the history of Chicago sports. Walls are adorned with vintage jerseys and photographs of local sports legends. The combination platter of mozzarella sticks, fried cheddar cubes, and breaded zucchini & mushrooms is a fried delight. The size of the platter was suprisingly moderate and was easily polished off by three people. Perhaps its a rare nod to quality over quantity...or maybe they're helping you leave space for their hearty pizzas.
We ordered a medium sized sausage pizza with the works - an assortment of veggies including onions, green peppers, sliced tomatoes and olives. All the ingredients create a masterful symphony of flavors in your mouth. Extra hearty as advertised and deliciously deserving of its hype. Whereas I could easily knock out 5-6 slices of local pizza, I hit the wall at 2 slices at Lou Malnati's. For dessert, we all shared a chocolate chip pizza - a baked cookie prepared in a deep-dish pizza pan topped with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. Insanely rich and dangerously sweet.
I took 3 slices to go and it was by far the heaviest take out box that I have ever carried in my life. No lie. It felt like a 50 pound dumbell.

rednofive

The bachelor party I attended converged with the bachelorette party for a grand finale at rednofive - an intimately sized joint located on nightclub heavy Halsted St. just north of Chicago's downtown. This club was chosen for sentimental reasons as it hosted the first date for the bride and groom-to-be.

Thankfully it wasn't your typical strobelighted claustraphobic meatmarket type of club. Oldheads won't necessarily feel out of place at this establishment which featured a diverse crowd of mostly well dressed young professionals in dresses, blazers and dress shirts. Not too many thugs or kiddies (no sneakers allowed). The space was small but not overcrowded - dunno if its because rednofive is past its heyday (they recently closed the bottom level of the club) or because its loungy atmosphere attracts/selects a specific demographic. Either way, I enjoyed the laidback atmosphere which allowed for easy mingling and moving about the room.

rednofive was dimly lit in warm shades of, you guessed it - red. Chandeliers hung from the ceilings and ornately framed mirrors adorned the walls with velvety draped curtains substituting as restroom doors. Several couches are located near the entrance/exit to catch photo-ops and stumbling drunkards. The dancefloor contained some random dancing and half-stepping with a small stage for exhibitionists. The DJ was situated above and mixed mostly mainstream stuff - old school and current hiphop with a little reggae and dancehall. I think I even heard some reggaeton from Daddy Yankee. I was suprised that I didn't hear any Chi-town hiphop like Kanye, Common, Cool Kids or Kid Sister, but maybe that would be too predictable.

All in all, it was a nice atmosphere for drinking, chatting and people watching. I held down the nearby bar taking shots from the groomsmen and meeting distant cousins that I never knew. Isn't it crazy when your extended family is that big and gets even bigger with each wedding?

stripped

So I attended a bachelor party at Scores in Chicago and enjoyed the spectacle. There were several bachelor parties going on and its funny to see the mob mentality behind it. Groups of guys surrounding the bachelor's stage performance like a pack of dogs cheering the girls to increase his punishment and humiliation.

Strip clubs are not as much of a sexy experience as an interesting case study of human interaction and behavior. There's no denying that strippers have beautiful bodies (if you stick to the classy joints), but after a few minutes, even that effect is desensitized.

After a while you find yourself observing how the strippers work the money out of guys' pockets. Its equal parts visual as well as walking the walk. In many cases guys are happy enough to have a "hot" chick look at them. Simply walking past the bar will net a garter full of singles.

Talking the talk involves the most transparent form of flirting (no such thing as subtlety in this environment) with a dose of psychology. A stripping of the male psyche. A stripping of his wallet. She will eye an insecure type of guy and feign interest in his most inadequate interests to pump up his self-esteem. She'll approach an average joe type with a mundane account of her daily "girl next door" activities. Maybe she senses a sensitive guy and mention school loans and even kids for pity and awe. If she really wants to lock it down, she'll declare that she loves porn and sports. "Yo man, can you believe she's got that type of body with 2 kids?! And she loves watching football?!?"

As you can see, strip clubs are just like life - you can't believe anything you hear. But in the end, there's a sucka born every minute. Before you know it, the guy is head over heels littering her with 20's for a lapdance. Its pretty amusing. I'd like to think that most guys are aware of the role playing but you always come across a guy that falls for it. Those are the dudes that you pity. You'd have to ask a stripper to find out if this is empowering or whether its just a night's work in providing a needed service. Or both.